The Restaurant Refugee

I figure a song fitting for our times... Please enjoy! :)

It's far from perfect, but this is my starting point with learning this song. Those falsettos get me, but with some work, I will get smoother transitions and more clear tone. 

I love the lyrics to this song. Please enjoy! 

Recently, I had the privilege of performing with a host of talents in an online Quarantined Cabaret Live show October 16, 2020. It reminded me how much I miss live performance. I have the yearn for cheers and applause of immediate affirmation and the boost of assurance it gives. I miss seeing strangers turn around to check who is on stage performing, sometimes being able to captivate them, or even grab the attention of the entire room. Hell, I even miss seeing strangers take the "opt out" and turn their back on me while on stage even. When on stage, I am there for myself more than anyone else. It gives the opportunity to express myself in ways unlike any other. The stage also provides the platform to be seen, to make a connection, to be felt. I like that. It just takes one chance encounter for life to change. It just takes one song to connect, perhaps even just one note, a vibration.  If I don't capture your attention, that's fine too. I am not every one's cup of ...

1. Untitled , 2018 If you are like me, you might be experiencing the pains of this long-term traumatic event we are going through in new ways lately. It's like our nerves have been exposed for too long to the anxiety brought on by pandemic, highlighted with economic and political stress. We have been dealt nothing less than uncertainty since the beginning of the year and October has been an extra special type of stressful. In spite of all the stress, I am looking forward to the end of the month.  This year, I turn 44, on 10/30/2020. (Any numerologists out there with insight?) Although there is typically a positive to be learned from them, October's lessons have been known to be some of the more challenging ones.  I've been busy writing, singing and arting, and looking for steady work. I needed to take a break from writing memoir material.  When I revisit my challenging childhood moments, I am in danger of getting stuck in those emotions. Rejection and self-loathing t...

Sending Love to you all!

Self Portrait, 2013 Being unemployed and quarantined, and having a need to understand have put me in a position to delve into issues and figure out how I've gotten to this point in my life. I have notably been able to turn things to shit  and  I have had moments where I am able to shine.  My primary struggles began with a lack of fitting in and an abundance of self-consciousness. Im a creature who is acutely, often painfully, self-aware.   From an early age on, I felt unseen by the adults around me to the point where I could not be myself. I could not be emotional. I could not do anything that could be interpreted as "girly" even though I was naturally effeminate in many ways by cultural standards. This alone put me in a conflicting situation, since toxic masculinity was the standard I would be held to "if I wanted to be a man someday." I lacked emotional stability and was unable to trust the world around me, forcing me to live in scarcity. I wasn't welcomed...